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  • I can't help but compare

    It hasn't been long since I started a new relationship with this guy. I am sure that I have moved on from my past relationship however, I can't help but compare my new boyfriend and the past one. My former boyfriend tend to be more attractive and a better singer. On the other hand, my present boyfriend is more caring and a better cook. I know that I need to stop comparing them but I just can't help it. What should I do?

  • #2
    Are you sure that you have already moved on? From what I see, you still have feelings for your past boyfriend and you are just using your new one as a rebound or something.

    Comment


    • BabyBabu
      BabyBabu commented
      Editing a comment
      I think that she had already moved on. Only that, there are people who really love comparing people. She could be one of those people.

    • SimplyAlisha
      SimplyAlisha commented
      Editing a comment
      Feeling with the old boyfriend? No, I do not think so. I also do not think that the new boyfriend is just a rebound.

    • Kinkytime
      Kinkytime commented
      Editing a comment
      She has not moved on completely as she still compares him with her ex. If she had moved on completely, then she could have forgotten her ex boyfriend and there should not have been any comparison.

  • #3
    I think you need to realize that the two of them are different from each other. They both have their own strengths and weaknesses. But for now, you need to focus on your present boyfriend. He's the one who is there for you and definitely not your ex.

    Comment


    • Aglowwo
      Aglowwo commented
      Editing a comment
      You're 100% right! Yes they are both different guys and there's no need to compare, maybe she's just not used to her new boyfriend. I'm sure that soon she'll get used to him and will be able to love him more and will NEVER ever want to compare him to her ex, I can tell that he is way better!

    • SmileDemiSmile
      SmileDemiSmile commented
      Editing a comment
      Yeah. Absolutely correct. His ex might have even forgotten her. lol. So, now, she should better stay with that she has.

  • #4
    Stop comparing as it is not fair for everybody. Each has its own strengths and weaknesses. The past is gone and you could not have it again. What you have now is the present so focus on him.

    Comment


    • StrongAsZeus
      StrongAsZeus commented
      Editing a comment
      If girls do not like being compared with other girls, how much more for us guys too then? It feels like we're competing to be the best that we can but everything you do seems not good enough for anyone at all. No one likes being compared right? It's best to just stop comparing and accept that person's unique personality.

    • Lookingforlovin
      Lookingforlovin commented
      Editing a comment
      Yeah, the past is gone but still sometimes I could not help but really compare the past from the present. Is this a sign of immaturity?

  • #5
    It is just okay to compare two people but you should keep it only to yourself. Do not tell it to your current boyfriend as that would hurt his ego. I am sure of that. Why? Because it would be difficult to be more attractive and better singer if he was born not to have those qualities.

    Comment


    • LoveShove
      LoveShove commented
      Editing a comment
      I agree. She shouldn't let her new boyfriend know that her ex has better qualities. That would hurt so much and that would only make the new boyfriend feel like he's not enough for her.

    • HugKenji
      HugKenji commented
      Editing a comment
      If you do not want your boyfriend to be offended then keep your comparison to yourself. Do not tell him the differences. You selected your current boyfriend because you liked him for what he is, right?

  • #6
    You could always compare all we want. And so what? If what we say are real then we had told the truth. And we should not be afraid to tell the truth, right?

    Comment


    • AnnieP
      AnnieP commented
      Editing a comment
      Well, sometimes, comparison brings out something good as we could try to improve those weak spots that we have.

    • inertia
      inertia commented
      Editing a comment
      Yeah, you have a point there. They say that with comparisons, we could make ourselves better.

    • Informerem
      Informerem commented
      Editing a comment
      iwantFWB The apple and the orange, while they look and taste differently, are both fruits. And, yes, we enjoy those fruits. What am I talking here? lol.

  • #7
    Originally posted by Vichie View Post
    My former boyfriend tends to be more attractive and a better singer. On the other hand, my present boyfriend is more caring and a better cook. I know that I need to stop comparing them but I just can't help it.
    Wow, is that really an issue for you? I'll be honest with you, I do NOT like your former boyfriend. He only has looks and sings to you, is that it? Then you should go back to him, I would love to be with someone like your present boyfriend since he is caring and is a better cook, he's already husband material if you'd ask me. Can I have him? I can't stand that you're comparing such a great man to a piece of trash!

    Comment


    • lovie456
      lovie456 commented
      Editing a comment
      I agree with you smartass, if she can't help comparing her new boyfriend to her former boyfriend, then why didn't she just go back to her former boyfriend? It is never okay to compare your new partner to the old ones, there's a chance that he will leave you for expecting too much from him when he's just being his own person and not the person you're expecting him to be.

  • #8
    Originally posted by Vichie View Post
    It hasn't been long since I started a new relationship with this guy. I am sure that I have moved on from my past relationship however, I can't help but compare my new boyfriend and the past one. My former boyfriend tend to be more attractive and a better singer. On the other hand, my present boyfriend is more caring and a better cook. I know that I need to stop comparing them but I just can't help it. What should I do?
    Sometimes we cannot help but to compare our former partners to our new ones, it's always a part of adjusting to something new, right? It's like when you're in a different place, you tend to compare this place to that place but soon you will get used to it and you will learn to love their imperfections and what makes their uniqueness makes it seem so special to you.

    Comment


    • CuddlyPac
      CuddlyPac commented
      Editing a comment
      I can't deny that I used to be like that, I can't help but compare my old boyfriend to my new boyfriend secretly. As soon as I got used to him, I slowly made the adjustments to myself until I became completely comfortable around him.

  • #9
    Just think and choose between the two men. Who do you like more? Do you still long for the past boyfriend? If yes, then sever your relationship with your current boyfriend and try to get back to the previous one.

    Comment


    • BeautifulCupful
      BeautifulCupful commented
      Editing a comment
      Even if she chose to have the previous boyfriend, is she confident that her ex-boyfriend would accept her back? I do not think so. lol.

    • Tastyblic
      Tastyblic commented
      Editing a comment
      You are right! She shouldn't settle for her new boyfriend if she still has feelings for her former lover. She's just truly wasting her time and effort by continuing her relationship with this new guy.

  • #10
    The fact that you are comparing both of them means that you haven't moved on yet. I suggest that you break up with your new boyfriend or take a cool off or something. You need time for yourself in order for you to think about what you should do next in your life.

    Comment


    • PussySlay
      PussySlay commented
      Editing a comment
      Couldn't agree more! Distance yourself from him for a while and think if you still want to be with him despite the fact that he has lesser qualities than your ex.

    • newromance
      newromance commented
      Editing a comment
      She's obviously using him just to get over with her ex, but it seems that she's still into him and I feel bad for her new boyfriend for being used by her and he does not know that he is being compared to her shitty ex. Such a great way to waste somebody else's time, she does NOT deserve to be with a guy like him.

  • #11
    What you are doing is totally unfair to your new boyfriend. I bet he will be truly hurt if he knows what you are thinking of him. I suggest that you stop thinking about your ex already. Throw away anything that reminds you of him.

    Comment


    • VanVan01
      VanVan01 commented
      Editing a comment
      I think she should get back to her ex if she wants it that way instead of comparing her new from her ex. That's just bullshit.

  • #12
    If you are still under the charm of your ex, you shouldn't have pursued to be in a relationship with the guy that you are currently with. You are only making things hard for yourself and for your current boyfriend as well. I am sure that he senses that you think that your ex is better than him. And a guy can be hurt by that simple fact.

    Comment


    • fistingfatties
      fistingfatties commented
      Editing a comment
      I totally agree with this. Guys have feelings too and they are humans too. She should have made sure that she has gotten over her ex before committing to another guy. And I do think that she's taking the guy for granted.

  • #13
    Well if you think that way, you can ditch your new guy and go back to your ex. Seems like that's what you want, right?

    Comment


    • BearMsAlive
      BearMsAlive commented
      Editing a comment
      LOL, she should go back to her previous boyfriend, yeah singing can feed her and she will never starve from that. She doesn't know how lucky she is that her new boyfriend knows how to cook, what does the other guy do? Shows off his looks? Yeah, like it can help pay bills too, right? Lol!

    • badbadboys
      badbadboys commented
      Editing a comment
      Exactly, lol, I can't believe that she's just using that new guy just to move on from her ex but the joke's on her, she can't seem to forget about her ex and now it's haunting her up to this day. She must've done something terrible and she's getting served with karma.

  • #14
    I suggest that you forget about the comparison. If you continue that kind of mindset, you will never be contented in your life. Think about how you would feel if your new guy compares you to his ex. That will be so much painful, right? That's what you are making your boyfriend feel through the comparison that you are making.

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