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Am I a bad friend?

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  • Am I a bad friend?

    This is somewhat related to my recent post, about my high school best friend and her current boyfriend. So, her current boyfriend once cheated on her but she already forgives him and continued with their relationship. To be honest, I've always hated her boyfriend's guts, he does NOT deserve to be with her. I don't understand why she'd let him back into her life when she slept already with someone else. I'd doubt that it only happened once. Going back to the question: Am I a bad friend for hating her boyfriend? And an addition to the question: Should I also hate her for accepting him back into her life? Why or why not?

  • #2
    It's okay for you to hate her boyfriend because you feel bad for your best friend, but there is no reason for you to hate your best friend. She just really loves him that's why she already forgave him, well, I think it's all in the past now and you're best friend will be happy with someone else.

    Comment


    • youngsterme
      youngsterme commented
      Editing a comment
      Hate all you want on her boyfriend, but he will never give a damn about you anyway. If that were my bestie, I would tell her to think about it again, I will never hate her. Just in case she might change her mind about leaving her boyfriend who already cheated on her. I'm sure that he will do it again and it will be more painful than before.

    • AnnieP
      AnnieP commented
      Editing a comment
      Her best friend would be happy with someone else? No, I do not think so. The fact that she forgave him then that proved that the man makes her happy.

    • Aglowwo
      Aglowwo commented
      Editing a comment
      Her best friend will be happy with someone else?

      No, I do not think so. Since she accepted him back, it is he who makes her happy.

  • #3
    You shouldn't hate both of them, she's just telling you the problem. Hate the problem and not the person. I understand that he cheated but I guess she accepted him back because she saw the changes from his attitude which explains why.

    Comment


    • BabyBabu
      BabyBabu commented
      Editing a comment
      Originally posted by BigDaddy69 View Post
      Hate the problem and not the person.
      I can't help but agree with this phrase. The situation might've gone worse but if two people are really in love, they'll always find a way back into each other's arms. Marphy, I suggest that you shouldn't give too much attention to that, I admire that you're a really good friend but it's their job to make things work for both of them. You still don't have the right to dictate her the things she needs to be done.

    • VickyMae55
      VickyMae55 commented
      Editing a comment
      Wow, BigDaddy69 it sounds like you've been in the exact same situation. It's best that she should've left him first before she foes out on dates with her coworker. Isn't she scared of getting caught by her boyfriend? It sounds like she's determined to leave him already.

    • J3nnyTalia
      J3nnyTalia commented
      Editing a comment
      No, no one should be hated. Do not hate them as they did nothing which had affected you. I do not think that they are affected at all so why do you bother with it? Let it go of the hatred.

  • #4
    You can't be blamed if you feel that way towards her boyfriend because you only want your best friend to be in good hands. So to answer your question, no, you are not a bad friend. In fact, you are being a good friend because you care for her well-being. As for your next question, you shouldn't hate your best friend just because she accepted him back. For all we know, she must have been really in love with him and maybe they are really meant for each other. Well, that will only happen if the boyfriend already changed.

    Comment


    • honesty101
      honesty101 commented
      Editing a comment
      You're right, and I couldn't agree more! She is not a bad friend after all. And the fact that she's just aware of the situation about her best friend and she's truly concerned about it. I'd be that friend too if I got a lot of time in my hands, I might even fix their whole situation if I can, lol!

    • Shane77
      Shane77 commented
      Editing a comment
      But do we really think that there is a possibility for that guy to change? Honestly, I doubt that he changed for a bit. His good deeds will not matter to me because in my eyes, he will always be the guy who cheated on his girlfriend.

    • Mor2thisIknoe
      Mor2thisIknoe commented
      Editing a comment
      I agree with you. A friend who cares for a friend is indeed such a wonderful thing to have. Since they are still together then it might be that they are meant to be.

  • #5
    I don't know what's wrong with your friend but you have to let her know that a cheater will always be a cheater. You have to make her realize that accepting his boyfriend back is a mistake. And no, you are not a bad friend for hating that guy. But you will definitely be bad if you hate your best friend. She is quite confused and you have to enlighten her with the reality. Also, it will be good to support her in whatever decision that she makes.

    Comment


    • HoneySpyder
      HoneySpyder commented
      Editing a comment
      Right. She should support her for the decision that she made. And she made him come back again to her life. Her decision might not be what you were expecting it to have but it is what she wanted to have.

    • playagame
      playagame commented
      Editing a comment
      But cheaters could change, too. If they do not want to lose the person that they love then they would surely change their old ways just to keep that person with them.

    • CupcakeComments
      CupcakeComments commented
      Editing a comment
      She was not confused. She decided on her own. Her decision may not agree with what's on your mind but you have to respect that one. It is he who she likes so accept that one.

  • #6
    You should not mind at all. It is not your business to mind it. As you can see, they are okay for now. Yes, the man cheated and was forgiven. The relationship is going okay so why bother to insert your hatred?

    Comment


    • Rilene90
      Rilene90 commented
      Editing a comment
      She's too late to throw shade and drama for that boy, lol! I'd rather not want to meddle in their business, that's their issue. I don't want any more issues in my life.

    • TeaBroadway
      TeaBroadway commented
      Editing a comment
      Looks like the girl really cares so much for her best friend that's why this is the way she's reacting. If I were her, I would react the same way. I guess you two ablasta and Rilene90 do not have this kind of affection with your best friend. Well, if ever you have one.

    • VanVan01
      VanVan01 commented
      Editing a comment
      TeaBroadway I guess that Marphy is just overreacting about it too. Why would she even think about hating or being mad at her friend? She should only be concerned less about her friend's problem. Well, I understand how you're concerned with your friend too but don't you think that she'll do the same if you're in her situation? Think again.

  • #7
    Marphy Go and waste all your energy hating on them, sooner or later your friend will replace you with a better friend who will support her all the way instead of hating her. See what hate does, it makes you become a toxic person, so why hate? You can simply ignore them and if I may ask, don't you have better things to do?

    Comment


    • BuiltToLast
      BuiltToLast commented
      Editing a comment
      It's best if she should ignore them and she should focus on other things like her own family or job. I don't know, I may have time for friends but problems like this should be resolved by them alone, it's a situation that they can handle because I have my own problems to manage.

    • halfSlut23
      halfSlut23 commented
      Editing a comment
      Finally, someone had posted the best answer. Yeah, she could continue to be bitter then without her knowledge she would be booted out at a friend. That would be the time that she would realized that she crossed the line way too much.

    • rockmybedpls
      rockmybedpls commented
      Editing a comment
      Hahaha. Boom! This is the reply that I was looking for. Thank you for saying this one. You nailed it! Good job. This would be like a crispy slam on her face.

  • #8
    If I were you, I would not only hate the boyfriend, I'll even be mad. He doesn't have the right to cheat and hurt your best friend. But if I were you, I wouldn't hate my best friend for accepting him back. I will probably be disappointed in her but I can never hate her. And lastly, if I were you, I'll do my best to encourage my best friend to get out of that relationship.

    Comment


    • hitthesack
      hitthesack commented
      Editing a comment
      I agree with you here. The guy did a very wrong thing and he deserves all the hate. But I hope that he realizes his mistake and try to change for the better.

    • lovie456
      lovie456 commented
      Editing a comment
      It would be better if she tried to talk things out with her best friend. In that way, she will think things through and she'll make her final decision if she has to leave him so she can heal and find someone better.

    • SmgSpuffy
      SmgSpuffy commented
      Editing a comment
      It is rather disappointing for both of them, they shouldn't be together if they're just planning to cheat on each other. That's just stupid if you'd ask me. I hope that they'll find a way to end this once and for all.

  • #9
    What the guy did was unforgivable. I might even be mad if I were in your shoe. I do not understand why your best friend still accepts him back but I do believe that you shouldn't hate her, she's still your best friend after all. What you can do is to express your support in every decision that she makes.
    Last edited by honeylemon; 11-04-2019, 01:24 PM.

    Comment


    • Annalyn
      Annalyn commented
      Editing a comment
      I couldn't agree more to this. You are not being a bad friend because it is obvious that you care for your best friend. And you can help her by giving her advice regarding her situation. Make her understand that he is not worthy of her love and she should know that he deserves a better treatment than what she's receiving now.

    • Yummykorn
      Yummykorn commented
      Editing a comment
      Why do you need to encourage your friend to get off on that relationship? I believe that they are already doing okay. She had forgiven him, right?

    • CupcakeTasty
      CupcakeTasty commented
      Editing a comment
      Do not hate the guy and get disappointed with the girl. You may give an advice to your friend but it should end there as it is their lives and you should not meddle with it.

  • #10
    I wonder if your friend's boyfriend is handsome and has a huge dick. If she could not break up with him then I could guess that those are one of the answers to my questions.

    Comment


    • Danica505
      Danica505 commented
      Editing a comment
      Obviously, he has and you'd think that she can let him go just like that? No wonder the boyfriend has a lot of guts in him to cheat his way out of anything.

    • AnneCubix
      AnneCubix commented
      Editing a comment
      So what if he has a huge dick? I think that he can't even use it right. Oh yeah, he's a dick already, so what's the point anyway?

  • #11
    Originally posted by Marphy View Post
    This is somewhat related to my recent post, about my high school best friend and her current boyfriend. So, her current boyfriend once cheated on her but she already forgives him and continued with their relationship. To be honest, I've always hated her boyfriend's guts, he does NOT deserve to be with her. I don't understand why she'd let him back into her life when she slept already with someone else. I'd doubt that it only happened once. Going back to the question: Am I a bad friend for hating her boyfriend? And an addition to the question: Should I also hate her for accepting him back into her life? Why or why not?
    You are not a bad friend to hate on someone, but as long as he did not do anything wrong to you then you should just brush it off. Please do not hate your best friend as well, she got herself in that situation just think that you're just concerned but to the point of hating them both is pointless. It's better if you do not get yourself involve in those kinds of things, soon you might be blamed for the next things that might happen.

    Comment


    • XtineA
      XtineA commented
      Editing a comment
      I absolutely agree. She doesn't need to meddle with someone else's relationship. Giving advice to her best friend is already enough. She doesn't need to hate them or something.

  • #12
    Why do I feel like you want to hate the guy and your best friend for a different reason? I actually think that you don't want them to get back together because you've been in the same situation but the difference is that your boyfriend didn't come back to you. Am I right? Oh whatever, these are only my opinion.

    Comment


    • Yuki23
      Yuki23 commented
      Editing a comment
      What a crazy imagination you got there! But somehow, that makes sense. Maybe she is just bitter and wouldn't want her best friend to be happy because she didn't get to have one.

    • BiancaG
      BiancaG commented
      Editing a comment
      I don't think that she has a hidden reason or something. As I read what she said, I felt that she was telling the truth. Maybe she got fed up with the cheating of the guy. Maybe she also got tired of the kindness and being gullible of her best friend. I think it's okay for her to feel some hatred.

  • #13
    Originally posted by Marphy View Post
    Going back to the question: Am I a bad friend for hating her boyfriend? And an addition to the question: Should I also hate her for accepting him back into her life? Why or why not?
    And why are you interfering with their affair? It is their affair and I believe that they had already solved whatever the problem was. Please do not insert your self in the equation as you are not a part of it. In a movie, it is like you only a side cast where they are the main actors. Anyway, I understand your point since you are a friend.

    Comment


    • fistingfatties
      fistingfatties commented
      Editing a comment
      She is the best friend. So we can't blame her for being so concerned that way and for involving her in the matter. She doesn't want her best friend to be back in a relationship with that cheater. Who would want to, right?

  • #14
    Wow! I commend the guy for being brave and confident after what he did to the girl. But I do think that he deserves all the hatred and grudge.

    Comment


    • #15
      If you love your friend then you would respect the decision that she made. She stayed with him because she thought that is would be the best thing to do. So, I could say that you should stop being bitter by feeling hatred towards her boyfriend.

      Comment


      • SimplyAlisha
        SimplyAlisha commented
        Editing a comment
        I beg to disagree. She loves her friend and is very concerned that's why she is feeling some hatred towards the guy. How could accepting back a cheater the best thing to do? I truly think that it's the worst thing. Anyway, I believe that she is not a bad friend for hating the guy.
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